A promise is a pledge to do something specified or to carry out the request or wishes of another person. Some promises are kept, some are broken due to unforeseen circumstances, and some are never carried out. For North Haven resident and First Selectman Michael Freda, keeping a promise he made to his father when he was 21 years old has lasted nearly four decades. This is his story:

“I was born in New Haven and lived at Wooster Place on Wooster Square. When I was a year old, my parents Michael and Mary (Palumbo) Freda moved the family to West Haven,” recalled Freda. “I grew up in West Haven and attended Our Lady of Victory School and then Notre Dame High School. My parents were strong believers in a good solid Catholic education, family values and tradition and teamwork.”

Freda grew up during the 1960’s, a decade marked by triumph, commotion and tragedy as depicted by the Camelot Years (the presidency of John F. Kennedy), the Civil Rights Movement, man’s first walk on the moon, and the turmoil of the Vietnam War. Nevertheless, many people like the Fredas focused on the good things in life while spending time with family and creating precious memories.

“One of my most special memories of growing up was when I was three years old, sitting on my father’s lap in his 1953 Chevrolet,” Freda remembered. “My father took great pride in his automobiles by keeping them clean and in pristine condition.

“When sitting in his car, I had two feelings, which included feeling very secure in my father’s lap and arms as I turned the steering wheel of the parked car in our driveway. I also felt important, like a grownup behind the power of this vehicle,” he added. “Although we were pretending to drive, the time spent with just my father and me made me feel very special and still exists in my mind after all these years.”

Sundays were special days in the Freda household. They were spent attending church in the morning and then visiting relatives in the afternoon. Freda’s mother had seven brothers and sisters and they would all congregate at Mary’s mother’s house on Bloom Street in West Haven. Also, they would travel to North Haven to spend time with Freda’s father’s only sibling Phyllis, and her husband Sal.

“We visited every family within the family. I enjoyed going to my grandmother’s house and spending time with my aunts, uncles, and cousins. My cousins, my brother Jim, and I played baseball and collected baseball cards,” Freda said. “We also visited my Aunt Phyllis, Uncle Sal and cousins Sal and Mickey, who lived on Fitch Street in North Haven. We went four times a year; Christmas, Easter and twice during the summer. I remember looking out the window of my father’s car as we drove along the back roads to North Haven and it felt like we were taking a trip.”

Freda explained that while visiting his aunt and uncle and his cousins were very special times. He would play football and baseball on the front lawn and one warm Christmas Day in the 1960’s, he was tossing the football up and down and noticed the final homes being built on Governor’s Drive that ran close to his aunt and uncle’s house.

“My aunt, uncle, and cousins always provided a warm and comfortable feeling and were very gracious and hospitable. It was like a magnet that drew me to North Haven and I couldn’t wait to return,” recalled a smiling Freda. “Back home in West Haven, I would ride my bike to the top of Jones Hill Road and I could see a view of New Haven and North Haven.”

When Freda was a senior in college, heartache hit the household — his father was diagnosed with bladder cancer. Freda recalls the day that his father sat down with him in the living room and father and son had a heart-to-heart talk.

“My father looked me in the eye and said, ‘Michael, you were always a responsible, trustworthy, and intelligent boy and now a young man. I know one day you will be very successful, but please do me a favor. When that day comes and you also have a family of your own, consider watching over your mother,’” recalled a tearful Freda. “I never forgot those words and I kept my promise.”

Sadly, sometime later Freda’s father died at age 50. After college, Freda worked two jobs as he advanced up the corporate ladder. He and his brother Jim share the responsibility of caring for their mother, which they continue through today. Every Sunday, Freda takes his mother out to dinner, and he and Jim help with the finances and work around the family home.

“My memories and the time spent with my aunts and uncles are wonderful to me as a child and I try to provide for them the joy they provided for me. I’ve been living in town over 30 years and when I became First Selectman, my cousin Sal Fusco, Aunt Phyllis and Uncle Sal’s son told me that his parents would be so proud of me being First Selectman in the town they so loved,” said Freda. “Family is very important and the younger generations should embrace and appreciate their relatives and learn from them, and preserve family traditions and values.

Freda added, “The tragedy of my father’s death and my promise I made are the driving catalyst that have compelled me to be competitive, drives me to achieve, and never give up.”

Life will fade, people will come and go, good times will not last forever and hard times will try our spirits, but the memories remain. For Michael Freda, memories of spending time with relatives, Sundays with his mother, sitting in his father’s 1953 Chevrolet, playing baseball, collecting sports memorabilia, and the sacred promise he made to his father are some examples of a man devoted and loyal to family, and a promise keeper.

Let your heart, as well as your mind, cherish memories of loved ones past and present and memories of yesterday for they bring comfort and hope for today and tomorrow, so while we can, we should remember when.

Paul Colella is a published author and North Haven resident. His novels “Patriots and Scoundrels: Charity's First Adventure” and “The Undefeated” are available online at Amazon.com and BarnesAndNoble.com